These are some memorable quotes from the movie Matilda. Read them and try to remember the episode or situation in the movie. Be ready for oral class discussion.

Narrator: Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. Some will grow to be butchers, or bakers, or candlestick makers. Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad. One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. [Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves]
Narrator: Most parents believe their children are the most beautiful creatures ever to grace the planet. Others take a less emotional approach:
Harry Wormwood: What a waste of time!
Zinnia Wormwood: And painful!
Harry Wormwood: And expensive... $9.25 for a bar of soap?
Zinnia Wormwood: Well, I had to take a shower, Harry!
Harry Wormwood: $5,000? I'm not paying it! What are they going to do, repossess the kid?

Zinnia Wormwood: Look, Miss Snit, a girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligent! I mean, take a look at you and me. You chose books - I chose looks. I have a nice house, a wonderful husband... and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. You want Matilda to go to college? Ha, ha, ha ha...
Harry Wormwood: College? I didn't go to college. I don't know anybody who did. Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha...
Jenny: Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate.
Harry Wormwood: Yeah...
Jenny: Or say you were sued for selling a faulty car. The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college too.
Harry Wormwood: What car? Sued by who? Who you been talking to?
Jenny: N-nobody.

Harry Wormwood: A book? What do you want a book for?
Matilda: To read.
Harry Wormwood: To read? Why would you want to read when you got the television set sitting right in front of you? There's nothing you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster.

Harry Wormwood: I'm smart; you're dumb. I'm big; you're small. I'm right, you're wrong. And there's nothing you can do about it.

Agatha Trunchbull: I need a car, inexpensive but reliable. Can you service me?
Harry Wormwood: In a manner of speaking, yes. Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever.
Agatha Trunchbull: Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School.
Harry Wormwood: Huh.
Agatha Trunchbull: I warn you, sir, I want a tight car, because I run a tight ship.
Harry Wormwood: Oh yeah, huh, well, uh...
Agatha Trunchbull: My school is a model of discipline! Use the rod, beat the child, that's my motto.
Harry Wormwood: Terrific motto!
Agatha Trunchbull: You have brats yourself?
arry Wormwood: Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mistake, Matilda.
Agatha Trunchbull: They're all mistakes, children! Filthy, nasty things. Glad I never was one.

Agatha Trunchbull: I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. They're the bane of my life. They're like insects: they should be got rid of as early as possible. Hah, [makes spraying gesture] psst! My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children... at all.

Harry Wormwood: [after listing prices of cars bought and sold] What was my profit for the day? Mikey: Could you repeat the last one?
Matilda: [interrupting] $10,265.
[long pause]
Matilda: Check it if you don't believe me.
Harry Wormwood: You're a little cheat. You saw the paper.
Matilda: From all the way over here?
Harry Wormwood: Are you being smart with me? If you're being smart with me, young lady, you're going to be punished.
Matilda: Punished for being smart?
Harry Wormwood: For being a smart aleck! When a person is bad, that person has to be ought a lesson!
Matilda: Person?
Harry Wormwood: Get up, get up...
Narrator: Harry Wormwood had unintentionally given his daughter the first practical advice she could use. He had meant to say, "When a child is bad." Instead he said, "When a person is bad." And thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. Only when they deserved it, of course.

Written by Trunchbull on the blackboard: If you are having fun, you are not learning.

Matilda: I love it here! I love my school... it isn't fair! Miss Honey, please don't let them...
Harry Wormwood: [interrupting] Get in the car, Melinda!
Matilda: Matilda!
Harry Wormwood: Whatever.
Matilda: I want to stay with Miss Honey.
Zinnia Wormwood: Miss Honey doesn't want you. Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid?
Jenny: Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child and I love her.
Matilda: Adopt me, Miss Honey! You can adopt me.
Harry Wormwood: Look, I don't have time for all these legalities!
Matilda: One second, Dad. I have the adoption papers.
Zinnia Wormwood: What? Where did you get those?
Matilda: From a book in the library. I've had them since I was big enough to Xerox.

Narrator: Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long. Especially when the FBI gets involved.
FBI Agent Bob: [into recorder] 9:17, suspect exits domicile.
FBI Agent Bill: I've got 9:18.
FBI Agent Bob: [into recorder] 9:17 is correct.

Agatha Trunchbull: I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me.

Matilda: No more Miss Nice Girl!

Matilda: Why don't you run away?
Jenny: I've often thought about it, but... I can't abandon my children. And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all.
Matilda: You're very brave, Miss Honey.
Jenny: Not as brave as you.
Matilda: I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything.
Jenny: Quite the contrary. All grown-ups get scared, just like children.
Matilda: I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of.

Harry Wormwood: Any packages come today?
Matilda: Mm-mm.
Harry Wormwood: [noticing her books] Where'd all this come from?
Matilda: The library.
Harry Wormwood: The library? You've never set foot in a library. You're only four years old. Matilda: Six-and-a-half.
Harry Wormwood: You're four!
Matilda: Six-and-a-half!
Harry Wormwood: If you were six-and-a-half, you'd be in school already.
Matilda: I want to be in school. I told you I was supposed to start school in September. You wouldn't listen.
Harry Wormwood: Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book.
Harry Wormwood: [He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is] Dearest pie, how old is Matilda?
Zinnia Wormwood: Four.
Matilda: I'm six-and-a-half, mommy!
Zinnia Wormwood: Five, then!
Matilda: I was six in August.
Harry Wormwood: You're a liar.
Matilda: I want to go to school.
Harry Wormwood: School? It's out of the question. Who would be here to sign for the packages? We can't leave valuable packages sitting out on the doorstep. Now go watch TV like a good kid. [Matilda leaves]
Zinnia Wormwood: You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl.
Harry Wormwood: Hmph, tell me about it.

Jenny: Matilda, you promised you wouldn't go back into that house.
Matilda: I didn't. I was on the garage roof. [whispering]
Matilda: I did it with my powers.

Matilda: It's not trash, daddy. It's lovely. Moby Dick by Herman Melville.
Harry Wormwood: Moby WHAT?

Matilda: This is the cottage from your story!
Jenny: Yes.
Matilda: The young woman is you!
Jenny: Yes.
Matilda: But then... No.
Jenny: Yes. Aunt Trunchbull.

Zinnia Wormwood: [asked to sign Matilda's adoption papers] You're the only daughter I ever had, Matilda. And I never understood you, not one little bit... Who's got a pen?

Harry Wormwood: Since you're an educator, I'll make you a deal.
Agatha Trunchbull: You'd better.
Harry Wormwood: Let's do business.

Zinnia Wormwood: [Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids] Mine are driving me crazy. I'll tell ya, six hours of school a day just isn't enough. Matilda: [excitedly] I'll say!

Agatha Trunchbull: Can you spell?
Amanda Thripp: Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. We can spell "difficulty".
Agatha Trunchbull: You couldn't spell "difficulty" if your life depended on it.
Amanda Thripp: She taught us with a poem.
Agatha Trunchbull: A poem? How sweet. What poem would that be?
Amanda Thripp: Mrs. D, Mrs. I, Mrs. F-F-I. Mrs. C, Mrs. U., Mrs. L-T-Y!
Agatha Trunchbull: Why are all these women married? Mrs. D? Mrs.I? You're supposed to be teaching spelling, not poetry!

Agatha Trunchbull: Useless, flamin' car! Wormwood! Sell me a lemon? You're heading for the choky, young lady!
Matilda: Choky?
Agatha Trunchbull: Teach you a lesson!
Matilda: What lesson?
Agatha Trunchbull: You and your father think you can make a fool out of me!
Matilda: My father?
Agatha Trunchbull: The guy with the stupid haircut!
Matilda: I'm nothing like my father.
Agatha Trunchbull: You're the spitting image. The apple never rots far from the tree!

Jenny: [sees a painting of Ms. Trunchbull] Oh my. My father's portrait used to hang there. Matilda: Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. A really strong stomach.

Agatha Trunchbull: What are those?
Amanda Thripp: What's what Ms. Trunchbull?
Agatha Trunchbull: Hanging down by your ears,
Amanda Thripp: You mean my pig tails
Agatha Trunchbull: Are you a pig Amanda?
Amanda Thripp: NO, Ms. Trunchbull.
Agatha Trunchbull: Do I allow Pigs in my school?
Amanda Thripp: My mommy thinks they're sweet.
Agatha Trunchbull: Your Mommy is a TWIT.

Harry Wormwood: What is this trash you're reading?
Matilda: It's not trash, Daddy, It's lovely. Its caled Moby Dick by Herman Melvile.
Harry Wormwood: Moby What?

Matilda: Dad?
Harry Wormwood: What?
Matilda: Yell at me, ok?
Harry Wormwood: SHUT UP AND LEAVE US ALONE!

Matilda: We'll wait until she's gone, then we'll go get your doll.
Jenny: What?
Matilda: Just kidding.

Harry Wormwood: [to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers] Chew your food; you're an animal!

Agatha Trunchbull: [speaking to Matilda about her and her father] You're the most corrupt low-lives in the history of civilization!